Coming To A Disney+ Near You…
By: Cameron Fulkerson
The third season of The Mandalorian just dropped on Disney+. So to help you get caught up, here is a quick, somewhat obscure recap of the series up to this point.
Season 1: A man in a tin can, who is also part of a non-Vitamin D religion, is out freezing people for cash, when he comes across the cutest green thing in the universe. He can’t help himself and decides to protect the green thing at all costs. And the duo of a cute green baby and a cold blooded killer was born. They go on a journey and come across an old soldier who helps him get his ship back. He turns the cutest thing in the universe over for cash, but can’t handle it and saves it. He meets a sheriff where they remake Seven Samurai with a zombie chicken walker. He then helps others on a ship in which a western betrayal occurs. And he heads back to help the other tin cans. A robot that has suicidal thoughts. They help the cutest thing in the universe and escape via jetpack. It is revealed the kid is now being tracked with a black lightsaber.
Season 2: Now silver tin can man heads to a desert planet and meets another tin can guy, who has started receiving Vitamin D. Except he’s not. Silver tin can helps the new guy take down the one creature the wizard screamed at in Star Wars. He then brings a creature with them. They stop and a bunch of spiders start taking over their ship, which is now completely trashed yet functional. They get to a dock, meet characters from the prequel series and they take over a ship. They then find out that there is a black lightsaber for sale and go see a character that made everyone lose their minds. That character says she is not a wizard and the silver tin can man helps her with a samurai-like city takeover. She makes every fan of the previous story lose their mind again. The two go to a temple and meet the real green tin can where they fight bucket heads. But it is not enough and the tax collector goes to collect everything from the tin can man. Silver tin can man is furious. And gets help to get the kid back. They infiltrate the ship and get the black lightsaber, but run into a billion terminators. Then the real hero comes in and makes every viewer cry. The real hero takes the kid from the silver tin can man and kicks him out of the Vitamin D-less religion.
The Book of the (former tin can man): The tin can man goes back to being a cold-blooded killer and makes a t-shirt for the cutest thing alive. But it is found out that he caught some Vitamin D and is banned. He steals the “master ship of spinning” and tries to pay a visit to the cutest thing alive to give him the t-shirt. But he’s forced to leave and the hero gives the cute green baby a choice between a laser sword and the t-shirt. The green baby chooses the t-shirt and goes with the tin can man, allowing for more adventures and playtime.
And there you have it. A quick, frenetic, somewhat obscure rundown to get you caught up for the third season of The Mandalorian, now streaming on Disney+.
